I know I preach it, but it is so important to take care of yourself. Self love is one of the things I feel like is misunderstood in that people sometimes feel like it can means that you are selfish. In reality true self love and appreciation is means of selflessness. When we love ourselves, we are better prepared to care for others. We cannot be the best mother, friend, wife, co-worker, etc if you cannot or refuse to repair the most important relationship. The relationship with ourselves. You cannot begin to save someone else from drowning unless you first know how to swim.
3 Simple Steps to Reversing Self Hate
God didn't make a single perfect human. We will never be perfect so stop trying to be perfect. We've all done things we aren't proud of, we have all made those senseless mistakes. Mine is always opening my mouth at an inopportune time. Usually in front of David's mother, so after letting something slip I get the stare of disapproval. So on top of already realizing I failed in trying to control my mouth, I have outside influences also telling me how badly I suck at that game. When things like this would happen, I would replay the situation in my head trying to rationalize what I did or how I said it, what I should have said and three days later I was almost over the 3 second confrontation. Yes, really 3 whole days were flooded with should have, could have, would haves...and for what? Me sulking and kicking myself didn't take away my words or her stare, so why did I do it?
Well, because I was disappointed in myself and I had to be punished, right? Wrong, we spend too much time over analyzing and punishing ourselves for our mistakes. It doesn't take a child several self conversations to learn not to touch the stove. They usually touch it, get burned, cry, and then are reluctant to touch it again. When faced with the thought of failures or mistakes, be child like. Simply say, I am human I made a mistake, what have a learned, how can I do better next time? Then sincerely try to do better next time. It is really that simple.
Likely if you are reading this you are a very busy woman. You are a go getter and a goal setter. You are always looking for the next deal or pushing yourself to hit the next target. Being driving is a wonderful blessing, but sometimes in all that going and getting we don't always take time to be appreciative of what we have already gotten during our journey.
I know what you are thinking, "I am grateful". I don't think for one second that you behave ungratefully, I am sure you aren't selfish. Again, if you are reading this likely you are generous to a fault and are willing to help anyone (hence why you are so busy). What I mean, is take time to really enjoy the gifts you have. Simply saying you are grateful as apart of your morning affirmations isn't enough. Spending time with the things you have is the best way to experience and show true gratitude. Spend more time than just the must haves that life requires. Such as your beautiful home. You've worked hard to live nicely, don't let the only time you spend in your home be cleaning and sleeping. Have party a dinner party or something to open your home to others and share your joy. You will find these types of expressed gratitude to be so much more fulfilling and actually rewarding.
Reward the Good
Just as we should be quick to forgive ourselves we should be just as quick to reward ourselves when we complete a task or meet a goal. Be careful not to be so eager to move on to the next challenge that you don't treat yourself having the integrity that it take to actually set and goal and meet it. That is incredibly hard work and deserve a fitting reward.
For me, consistently working out is something I struggle with so bad. So oonce I set a goal to work out 5 times a week, I also have to set the reward. It is usually a trip to Ulta Beauty or 30.00 shopping spree at Amazon. As, I build the habit the rewards get a little smaller only because the real reward of working out started to show and I no longer need the constant incentive. Another example, my husband and I do not watch TV much during the week. We just cannot afford the distraction. So we use the lack as reward, once a month we have a a date night and TV day. We send Abby off to grandmas, we buy Good jjunk food, we watch hours of TV shows to reward our dedication, focus and hard work throughout the month.
Rewards for short term and long term goals are key to focus and avoiding getting burnt out. But be mindful not to reward yourself with things that will set you back. If your goal is to stop drinking soda, don't reward yourself with a coke after a week of abstinence. Rather reward yourself with something you love doing, for me a manicure would be in order.
These are just my favorite and I feel most effective ways to show myself some love. I really hope this post was helpful, but I am anxious to hear the specific ways that you love yourself.
I am an esthetician, wife & mom that has a love affair with Skincare & Cosmetics.